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Biting the hand that feeds IT — sci/tech news and views for the world
Updated: 53 min 56 sec ago

Military techie mangled minicomputer under nose of scary sergeant

Mon, 12/02/2018 - 8:03am
That's 'I hit the power button my mistake, SIR!' Do you understand?

Who, Me?  Welcome to the fourth edition of Who, Me?, The Register's new column in which techies share their shameful secrets.…

Talk down to Siri like she's a mere servant – your safety demands it

Mon, 12/02/2018 - 7:02am
Voice assistants get samples of our voice that can be remixed and faked

In the middle of the night, the 83-year-old woman received a call. A caller identifying himself as a policeman angrily reported that her grandson – identified by name – had landed in jail. He'd hit a policeman while driving and TXTing.…

Talk down to Siri like she's a mere servant – your safety demands it

Mon, 12/02/2018 - 7:02am
Voice assistants get samples of our voice that can be remixed and faked

In the middle of the night, the 83-year-old woman received a call. A caller identifying himself as a policeman angrily reported that her grandson – identified by name – had landed in jail. He'd hit a policeman while driving and TXTing.…

Meltdown's Linux patches alone add big load to CPUs, and that's just one of four fixes

Mon, 12/02/2018 - 6:01am
Netflix chap predicts streamer will cop slowdown between 0.1% and 6%

Netflix engineer, dTrace guru and famed shouter at hard disk drives Brendan Gregg has cooked up a "microbenchmark" to assess the Linux kernel page table isolation (KPTI) patch for the Meltdown CPU design flaw and come up with predictions of significant-but-manageable performance degradation.…

Boffins upload worm's brain into a computer, teach it tricks

Mon, 12/02/2018 - 4:57am
Nematode only has 300 neurons – a snack to simulate

Boffins from the Technische Universität Wien in Austria have created a simulated brain, run it in a computer, and taught it a trick.…

5G won't just be fast, it'll do the ML-fuelled self-optimisation thing

Mon, 12/02/2018 - 3:58am
That's if the ITU can get telcos talking standards, and it looks like it can

There's a race to apply machine learning to networking applications (especially for 5G), and as so often happens in periods of frenzied development, there's an emerging standardisation gap the International Telecommunications Union hopes to fix.…

If you haven't already killed Lotus Notes, IBM just gave you the perfect reason to do it now, fast

Mon, 12/02/2018 - 2:58am
Also: Big Blue's Meltdown, Spectre status updated, and a mystery bug in AIX

IBM has warned that bugs in its Notes auto-updater mean the service can be tricked into running malicious code.…

Huawei claims national security is used as plausible excuse for 'protectionism'

Mon, 12/02/2018 - 12:42am
Global government affairs veep wants trade rules to apply

Huawei has told an Australian parliamentary committee it believes national security is sometimes being used to hide protectionist trade policies.…

Winter Olympics website downed by cyber attack

Sun, 11/02/2018 - 11:19pm
There was nothing to see here, but please move along, nothing to see here...

Updated  The Pyeongchang 2018 Winter Olympics' website went down just before the event's Friday opening ceremony in South Korea, thanks to a cyber-attack, and stayed down for about 12 hours.…

UK ICO, USCourts.gov... Thousands of websites hijacked by hidden crypto-mining code after popular plugin pwned

Sun, 11/02/2018 - 3:41pm
Biz scrambles to shut down crafty coin crafting operation

Thousands of websites around the world – from the UK's NHS and ICO to the US government's court system – were today secretly mining crypto-coins on netizens' web browsers for miscreants unknown.…

You can resurrect any deleted GitHub account name. And this is why we have trust issues

Sat, 10/02/2018 - 8:49am
Lax policies, coder laziness don't mix well

Analysis  The sudden departure of a developer from GitHub, along with the Go code packages he maintained, has underscored a potential security issue with the way some developers rely on code distributed through the community site.…

NSA code backported, crims cuffed, leaky AWS S3 buckets, and more

Sat, 10/02/2018 - 4:27am
But it's not all good news!

Roundup  Here's a roundup of this week's security news, beyond what we've already covered, to kickstart your weekend.…

Wow, MIND-BLOWING: Florida Man gets an earful from 'exploding Apple AirPod' bud

Sat, 10/02/2018 - 12:14am
Bloke claims expensive audio kit detonated mid-workout

A Florida man claims one of his Apple AirPods blew up as he worked out at the gym.…

US states accused of skimming cash from 911 emergency call dosh

Fri, 09/02/2018 - 11:42pm
Funds to prop up critical service diverted to bankroll other stuff, watchdog not impressed

The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) has warned that multiple US states are using money designated for emergency services to fund other unrelated projects.…

You dopes! US state's pot dealer database pwned after security goes up in smoke

Fri, 09/02/2018 - 10:29pm
Don't mean to harsh your buzz: Hackers weed out access hole

The US state of Washington says a miscreant was able to access the system it uses to track the manufacturing and sale of marijuana.…

No sh*t, Sherlock! Bloke suspected of swallowing drug stash keeps colon schtum for 22 DAYS

Fri, 09/02/2018 - 10:06pm
Cops frustrated by lack of movement in the case

A suspected drug dealer accused of swallowing his stash has become internet famous – after refusing to take a dump, and thus provide the cops their evidence, for 22 DAYS and counting.…

Due to Oracle being Oracle, Eclipse holds poll to rename Java EE (No, it won't be Java McJava Face)

Fri, 09/02/2018 - 9:43pm
Nor C-- or Should Have Used Go or Screw Ellison...

Unable to convince Oracle to allow the use of its trademarked term "Java" to refer to the open source version of Java Enterprise Edition (Java EE), the Eclipse Foundation is asking those who care about such things to vote on proposed names for the software project.…

Uh-oh! Someone hit the Kalanick button! Uber's fired CEO claims Waymo deal vindicates him

Fri, 09/02/2018 - 8:41pm
Travis: A pain in the ASCII right to the end

Comment  The man responsible for dragging the reputation of one of the tech world's biggest names through the mud, into the gutter, and in circles around raw sewage has claimed today's out-of-court Waymo-Uber settlement vindicates him.…

Ruskie boffins blasted for using nuke bomb lab's supercomputer to mine crypto-rubles

Fri, 09/02/2018 - 7:59pm
Kremlin goes nuclear on sly digi-cash-crafting eggheads

Engineers at Russia's top nuclear weapons lab have been arrested – after the eggheads were caught using one of the supercomputers to mine cryptocurrency.…

Uber and its 245 million reasons to settle with Google's Waymo

Fri, 09/02/2018 - 6:38pm
Taxi app biz expresses 'regret' for being scumbag outfit

Analysis  It was just one more twist in an extraordinary story: this morning Uber settled its San Francisco court battle with rival Waymo for $245m in stock.…